We were snowed in today, and I still feel kinda crappy since I have the cold John had last week. So, I didn't make it to the center today for a check-in. It was a tough diet day too. I really wanted to make cookies and have a comfort-food fix, but I held off. I sure hope the exercise of willpower burns calories!
Today's reason has something to do with vanity, but also with basic self-image. Our wedding photographer managed to capture a few photos of me that I actually liked (a rarity) but by and large I hate photos of myself. I tolerate them now, because I realized at one point that refusing to have photos taken writes me out of my own history, in a way. I have so few photos from college, for example, or from my 20s -- I avoided the camera because I didn't want reminders of my fatness.
Since getting married and having a child, though, I have a newfound desire to remember the happiness of these days, and so I have been in a lot more photos. We recently had family photos done for my baby's first birthday, and I looked so fat in them I didn't want to post any of them on facebook. This was probably one of the primary reasons I decided that now is the time to actually make changes that will (hopefully) stick long after I've completed the weight-loss program.
I haven't yet taken an official "before" photo, but I need to do that so I not only have a way of documenting my weight loss, but also so I have a reminder of where my bad food choices for so many years put me. I don't want to revisit this place again in the future, that's for sure.
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